Sunday Evening

Grace has just come off a week of migraines.  I don’t know if it’s just one migraine that won’t abate or numerous migraines that remit and continue.  She missed an entire week of school.  The school doesn’t seem to care.  Should I?

Her pediatric neurologist finally returned my call this afternoon, and I filled her in on Grace’s condition.  Grace’s psychiatrist doesn’t know what to make of her hallucinations.  Actually, I think he has some ideas; he’s just doing his due diligence.  Her neurologist was very compassionate, and I realized how much I needed it.  Compassion is in short supply.  I almost cried on the phone.  I explained to her that Grace’s psychosis is worsening.  She is now terrified to ride in the car.  She doesn’t want to look into mirrors or pass by windows.  She now sees the three men all the time, and now they are brandishing swords as well as handguns.  They look meaner and more intent on harming her.  She fears that everyone might be out to get her, and she can’t tell what’s real anymore.

This is starting to sound a lot more like schizophrenia.  Gracie isn’t the only one experiencing terror at this point.  I’m right behind her.

Her neurologist will do her due diligence, too.  Another MRI.  Perhaps another EEG.  There are degenerative neurological conditions that present as psychiatric conditions, but they are rare.  So, is childhood-onset schizophrenia.  She told me that she believes Grace’s condition to be psychiatric in nature, however, and not neurological, but she is on board.  We are also seeing another psychiatrist next week.  We need another pair of eyes.  This gal sees a lot more schizotypal kiddos, and she may be able to help us.

I’m…exhausted, and I can’t send Grace to school.  It is completely irresponsible to send a psychotic child to school.  I know that even if the school district does not.

My husband and I are scared, but we must be brave.  There is little room for fear right now.  We have three other children.  Not just Grace.  I have an autistic child, too, who needs special attention.  I have another daughter with an anxiety disorder.  I…must solve this.  A foundation of truth.  I can build on that.


10 thoughts on “Sunday Evening

  1. From what you’ve said, there are so many reasons why you should not care about Grace missing school. The “must solve this” worries me. Would you care to elaborate in a post?

    • Grace is missing an incredible amount of school. This is worrisome because she isn’t getting an education. That’s a problem. The other issue here, however, is that there are laws that are most likely being broken, too. My first request for an IEP was denied citing inadequate information and previous academic performance and test scores. That was illegal. It is illegal to deny a parent an IEP evaluation, and it’s also illegal to use test scores, grades, and previous academic performance as the reason. It’s going to take another 30 days once the evaluation period begins for the IEP team to decide what they want to do, and, if Grace misses all those days due to instability, then that’s another 30 days of missed school. The school will be in violation of IDEA, denying her a FAPE, and also in violation of NCLB. Frankly, it’s absurd. How is this okay? That’s what I mean when I say I want it solved. AND, they want to evaluated her under and EBD/IEP for an organic physical problem which federal ruling states should be evaluated under and OHI/IEP. Yet another mistake and a means to stall. They also want to do an FBA. How does on functionally analyse psychosis? The entire thing is a farce. Welcome to the IEP.

      • Ok. I couldn’t sort out which was the PUS side. One of my favorite aphorisms: My right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins.

        There will be time for Grace to get an education.

      • Yes. I just don’t want her to lose too much time. It really affects a child’s self-esteem when all their peers leave them behind…

  2. We are holing you close right now. Continue to breath and know we are here at a moment’s notice. For anything. None of you are alone through any of this.

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