Grace has just come off a week of migraines. I don’t know if it’s just one migraine that won’t abate or numerous migraines that remit and continue. She missed an entire week of school. The school doesn’t seem to care. Should I?
Her pediatric neurologist finally returned my call this afternoon, and I filled her in on Grace’s condition. Grace’s psychiatrist doesn’t know what to make of her hallucinations. Actually, I think he has some ideas; he’s just doing his due diligence. Her neurologist was very compassionate, and I realized how much I needed it. Compassion is in short supply. I almost cried on the phone. I explained to her that Grace’s psychosis is worsening. She is now terrified to ride in the car. She doesn’t want to look into mirrors or pass by windows. She now sees the three men all the time, and now they are brandishing swords as well as handguns. They look meaner and more intent on harming her. She fears that everyone might be out to get her, and she can’t tell what’s real anymore.
This is starting to sound a lot more like schizophrenia. Gracie isn’t the only one experiencing terror at this point. I’m right behind her.
Her neurologist will do her due diligence, too. Another MRI. Perhaps another EEG. There are degenerative neurological conditions that present as psychiatric conditions, but they are rare. So, is childhood-onset schizophrenia. She told me that she believes Grace’s condition to be psychiatric in nature, however, and not neurological, but she is on board. We are also seeing another psychiatrist next week. We need another pair of eyes. This gal sees a lot more schizotypal kiddos, and she may be able to help us.
I’m…exhausted, and I can’t send Grace to school. It is completely irresponsible to send a psychotic child to school. I know that even if the school district does not.
My husband and I are scared, but we must be brave. There is little room for fear right now. We have three other children. Not just Grace. I have an autistic child, too, who needs special attention. I have another daughter with an anxiety disorder. I…must solve this. A foundation of truth. I can build on that.