I’m making pancakes for BFF, Grace, and Milly. There was a sleepover here last night. I was the omnipotent judge of the “Barbie Dresses As…” contest, and BFF won. Her Barbie as Tackiest Waitress put her over the top although Grace’s Barbie as Scariest American Idol Contestant got her pretty close to a win. Everyone did really well last night which is great because I took two muscle relaxers before bed. I overdid it yesterday, and I knew I was going to pay for it if I didn’t actually get some pain-free sleep.
So, this morning, as I’ve been flipping pancakes, sipping my beloved coffee, and listening to the girls continue to play Barbies in the living room, I’ve been laughing my ass off in horror and denial at these photos and captions provided by Plaid Stallions. I’ve decided that you need to see them, too; so, in an effort to encourage you to partake of my morning merriment I am providing you with a teaser.
A preface: I just don’t remember 70s fashion being that awful. I mean, I remember Burt Reynolds posing for Cosmo bare-assed because my mother taped it to her closet door, and I remember thinking that I didn’t like his furry chest or ‘stache. I also remember watching “Magnum P.I.” and thinking that Tom Selleck’s shorts were really short for someone with such long legs (yes, I was a strange child). And, yes, I remember never liking wide-legged pants even when everyone was wearing them. Even when that’s all that was available. I thought they were tacky and awkward. Lastly, I recall my father wearing Hush Puppies shoes, and I thought they were the ugliest shoe ever made. What did I know? I was four. Who listens to a 4 year-old when it comes to fashion? This compilation from various catalogs published in the 70s, however, just confirms what my childish memory tries to convince my now adult mind. The 1970s were many things–fashionable, however, they were not. Here are a few of my favorites:
Last but certainly not least…
What’d I tell you? It’s glorious in its awfulness. I encourage you to take a step back in time and visit The Best of Fashion Mockery–Reliving the 70s One Catalog Page at a Time. The power of Brick Mantooth and Man Mates has the strength to lighten the load of even the heaviest day.
Now…go forth and laugh!
(Thank you, Plaid Stallions, for your brilliance in writing clever captions and for providing us with amazing but sad photos from our past.)