Forbidden Love

The week in sex was topped off with quite the awkward climax…er…yeah.

Last week, a friend emailed me a link to a series of books on Amazon with the caption: “Enjoy!” She tends to be snarky and sneaky so I am always a bit suspicious when she sends me anything.  Will I need to find some brain bleach? Probably.

My very wide and deep imagination, however, could not have prepared me for what I was about to see.

Dinosaur Porn

I will say it again.

Dinosaur Porn

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See? Ready for your Kindle!

If you’re not into herbivores, then you can always take a walk on the wild side with some hawt carnivore action.

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Of course, if you’re a born risk taker and crave the adrenaline rush, then I might recommend something like this.

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I was quick to inform my husband of this newly discovered genre, and he quickly found an interview with the two authors responsible for bringing us dinosaur erotica.  Apparently, T-Rex is the most sexually frustrated of all the dinosaurs thanks to his tiny arms–he can’t satisfy his own sexual needs by himself because he can’t, you know, reach! He must, therefore, find a human female to meet his sexual urges.  

Being a visual thinker, I began to try to imagine what a dinosaur/human tryst might be like.  Would they meet in a bar? What might a sexually frustrated T-Rex say to a gal? What about a big, burly Triceratops? After trying to explain purely human sexuality to Milly all week, I imagined trying to explain THIS to a kid.

“Well, sometimes a dinosaur feels things for a woman that he just can’t explain.  It’s a forbidden love really.  He just can’t find anyone in his own herd that does it for him.  And, well, you know that we talked about self-love, masturbation.  Your sister had to watch that video.  And, some dinosaurs just can’t know themselves in that way due to their tiny arms.  They need help, and they don’t want the help of their own kind.  They want the touch of a human woman.  Sure, they might be exiled, and, well, the other dinosaurs might try to eat the human woman if this is a group of carnivores, but…”

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“Dinosaurs and humans did not exist together at the same time.  What are you talking about?”

“….”

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17 thoughts on “Forbidden Love

  1. So, the T-Rex became extinct because it needed help in the, er, organ donation department? Organ loanership program? Um, organ…I’m sorry, I’m laughing wildly here. Dinosaurs. And women. And dinosaurs. Where does your friend find these things?

    • I think someone else notified her of this new development in genre fiction. All I know is this–the next time I go to the science museum and hear a kid yell out, “I wanna go see some dinosaur bones! Look! Dinosaur bones!” I’ll have an entirely new point of comparison, and I don’t know how I feel about that.

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