Like most teens, Eadaoin ignores her alarm clock. She hits the snooze button several times every morning. It’s sort of endearing the first few times it happens. As an adult you see yourself in this. “Aaaw, look at that. We’re related.” After a few months of this, it’s not cute in any way. It’s just annoying. “Look at that. She won’t get up on her own for anything. Wild horses probably can’t drag her out of bed. We’re related.”
Well, I don’t have any wild horses around to attempt to drag Eadaoin out of bed, and I’m tired of tromping up the stairs every morning to poke and prod her. “Eadaoin…Eadaoin…Eadaoin…Eadaoin. Wake up. Wake up. Dear Lord…Is she dead?”
When asked later why she ignores her alarm, she justifies herself with an answer we adults have all used. “I sleep through it. I don’t hear it. I can’t help it.” What am I going to say to that? I slept through Hurricane Alicia when I was 8 years-old and three ensuing tornadoes! Who am I to criticize?
So, how do you wake up a teenager?
I figured it out. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh boy, did I!
Every adolescent I’ve ever met is programmed to one sound. They’ll hear it a mile away. “I have a text!” That sound. The sound of incoming flirting, socializing, and gossip. Ah the text notification.
I have used it for evil. Eadaoin has a very annoying text notification sound. It’s a fairy from The Legend of Zelda saying, “Hey listen!” It drives Doireann nuts. “Hey listen! Hey listen! Hey listen!” Every time a text arrives. “Hey listen!” This morning, I got up and realized that Eadaoin had once again
ignored slept through her alarm. She is supposed to get up at 6 AM. She was still in bed at 6:35. I decided to do something different.
I grabbed my cell phone and sent twenty texts to her phone. “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey…” I could hear her phone from downstairs. “Hey listen!” repeatedly. I heard Doireann yell, “Eadaoin! Your phone!!!!” I heard Eadaoin’s feet hit the floor. She ran down the stairs holding her phone and saw me innocently sipping my coffee at the dining room table. “Mom! Why?! What…Mom!” “Oh good. You’re up!”
If looks could kill…
She returned to the table a little later dressed and obviously upset. “You sent me over twenty texts. Doireann is mad.”
I just sipped my coffee feeling a bit of Schadenfreude.
“I’m getting up on my own tomorrow. That is a horrible way to wake up. I don’t wanna wake up like that again. I wanna throw my phone into the sun.”
I just looked at her while I sipped my coffee. My husband looked at me with admiration. Doireann looked at me like I was evil incarnate.
That’s how you wake up a teenager.